DO NOT _ THOUGHTS OF A TROUBLED MIND

Dear You…

Do not be mad at me if you want a relationship with me now and I turn it down. Do not frown at yourself, or tell all your friends how I am a snob and an inconsiderate  girl. Do not send me long text messages, blaming me for your incapacity to ever love again. Or telling me how I have heartbroken you. Do not go to your sister or brother, because you cannot let your friends know of your challenges. DO NOT  ASK THEM WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. Do not start doubting your worth. Because you are perfectly fine. And you have no problem. And in case there is a problem between us then it originates from me.

 

Do not hate all the girls you meet and start classifying them that all girls are the same even if you’ve not tried them. Do not hate the woman generation, forgetting that your mother, your sister  and grandmother are women and my simple actions do not define the women at all. Do not… Treat everybody as they come, and know that even in the dirtiest bins there is one clean thing only that you have to look for it.
Do not write posts that clearly allude that you are a bitter person. That scares all your potentials away because in your well edited posts there are clearly underlined curses and uncouth and barbaric lines. The last thing the world wants is another bitter person, there are enough bitter and mean people already and the better if you remain like you are – Good-hearted, Kind and considerate.
Do not enclose yourself in the house the whole day. Do not miss your work, or your important events because you don’t want to see anyone. Do not download all the sad music in the world and play it loud in your system days continuously not minding of your neighbors welfare. That they have children and they are tired from the long day work and they at least need to rest from the long day work with no noise. Do not risk being evicted by the landlord of the apartments when their pleas for you to open the doors land in deaf ears. Do not put your beloved family in worry wondering what befell their dear child, or have your mother crying late at night thinking the gods have decided to bewitch their only son. Do not make your father question his fatherhood by feeling that he has failed to bring you up properly. Do not be a sad person all because of me. You are a bubbly person who is fun to be around and the world needs people like you. It’s not worth of you being a trouble. Because if at all there is any person who deserves to be sad is me,my grandparents are far away and my parents won’t worry anything about it…

Do not drink yourself silly and love all the respect you’ve gained throughout your life. Everywhere from your office, your business, to all the schools you’ve been in you’ve been praised of your dignity and self control. Do not destroy it all because of a single event which life will heal. You’ve overcome much more pain when you were younger. Like the case of circumcision, like losing your relative who you were very close, like being hit by a football in between your legs and feeling like you could die yet you had to suppress it and laugh with your friends, like a deadly disease that almost took away your life, like overcoming your first love who  despite being all grown memories of her still makes you a bit sad and nauseated. Like pretending to the world you are strong yet deep inside you have such a fainthearted, like leaving campus with all the fun it had and transiting to be employed. Like years of tarmacking looking for a job which you lost in the first three months because you refused to compromise your values. Reflect your life and all the hurdles you’ve overcome, this is nothing. You shall overcome. Its dangerous to be out at night drinking with women out of desperation, they can spike your drinks and steal everything from you. Or worse kill you. You can lose your mind and sleep with night workers and contract STDs, or worse diseases. You don’t deserve that, unless it through an accident. The world still needs responsible men like you, men who take care of everyone and rarely drink and if they do they remember the Timothy’s advice take a little wine because its good for your digestion. After all there is somebody who is supposed to be paying for all this is the one who caused it is you and not me.

Do not be a bitter person. Do not let go of your long term dreams and vision of being successful because of me. Remember you are your family’s only hope, and your clans looks up to you. You failing in your life, does not only affect you but your whole family. Even if you don’t have a reason to live yourself, do it for them, shine for them. Go out there and learn football, and learn that instrument, and learn to dance, be an all rounded person. Don’t go in depression, because you don’t deserve It, I do. I do deserve the pain… For having a good man like you love me, and not being able to love him back . For turning you down despite the promise of a ring, for not wanting to lead you on, for not wanting you to spend on me then ditch you, because one you want a serious relationship and two I want to give my first relationship my all, it’s the only first I will ever have, perhaps few years down the line I will be ready, but I know at this point I will not give you the love and commitment you deserve…

Regards

Troubled Mind.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Nadia says:

    True to that and a nice piece there brightstar

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s