THE MAN WHO HAS CHOSEN CELIBACY

Given it is International Men’s day, I will talk about an extra ordinary man.
So the other day I met this man. I was from a T. V station and he was getting in.  It was hard not to notice him
He is tall… 6’2. He had this cologne that made me want to hug him. He was wearing a well tailored suit and a big gold watch. And his face was familiar. It took me few minutes to remember I had seen his face. In a business newspaper…
He looked better in person though… He had this sideburns and I have a thing for well kept beards and sideburns. Through in his presence I  felt small. As if I was non existent. See, I am a girl who is not so much into grooming. I wash my face with water only and apply Vaseline. I wear clothes without much thoughts. And I leave the house in anything. I don’t do make up. In the presence of this well groomed man I felt invisible.

He came to me and said a big hello. And his voice. My goodness! I wanted to pretend I didn’t hear him. So that he could say hello again. I stretched my left hand. He put his right hand back. And gave me his left hand…
‘Brightstar ‘ I said. He said ‘I know. I have seen you in T.V arguing matters of leadership. And girl, you are a leader. I do not know whether you have ever thought of being a news anchor or a T.V Host. You would do really well. And I would love to see your face on the screen. ‘ Honestly I felt flattered. There are some things you hear often, but then coming from some unexpected people you feel so honored.
He gave me his card. ‘It would be so bad of me to keep a lady standing. You were going somewhere else give me a call if you don’t mind. Then he smiled, parted me at the back and walked away. I turned and looked at him, and it was embarrassing because he had turned to look at me too.

I was left holding the card. Part of me wanted to call immediately I was home, but part of me wanted to stock it like all other cards that I have been given on the way but I have never called. I walked away. Smiling…
After two days I was arranging my closet when the card fell from one of the bags. I held it. I picked my phone. And dialled the number. The voice on the other side bellowed with excitement. ‘I was really hoping you will call.’ He hanged up and called me back. ‘It’s not good for a lady to use her credit. ‘

We had conversation on different days and occasions over the phone. He was knowledgeable. About so many things. And most of the time I felt like I was a student. And he was the teacher.

After sometime I asked him what he thought of chastity. It is a conversation I have been longing to have with someone of the opposite sex for a long time but I find it hard. But despite us being strangers he was approachable and free with me with so many areas, I could as well ask on this one.
He took a deep breath ‘It is a sensitive discussion, in this generation, because people oppose strictly what is the opposite of their lives. But I am glad you asked. I will be honest with you. I respect people’s choices, and I think the strongest person is the one who can withhold momentum pleasure for the long term goal. I am celibate myself. I have been since high school. I was brought up by a single mum, she was  a christian. In high school I slept with my crush because of the pressure from friends. It was memorable, but she felt that’s the only thing I wanted from her. And it ruined our relationship. Since then I decided I was going to keep myself for My wife. I am now 27. I have a house and my businesses are running. But success is incomplete without a family. I am looking forward to meet her and settle soon’

My mouth dropped. I was glad it was over the phone and he could not see my reaction. See, there are many times I have been embarrassed to talk about my beliefs , but honestly I did not expect that type of response from a man in this era.

He went on ‘I don’t know about you, you are still very young. If you have not indulged yourself in sex I encourage you to keep it that way. But be ready to lose friends. Be ready to be condemned and be called stupid. But it is worth it. You will not have too emotional baggage to deal with in the long run. Sex is a beautiful thing,  it should not be reduced to something casual like a hug.’

‘ I understand what you are saying.Though sometimes it is easier to feel as if you are all alone. Thanks for sharing with me your thoughts.  Been looking for answers .

He told me ‘  Never be apologetic of your beliefs even if you feel left out.  It is better to be left out than do things in a hurry and regret it.  The right people will understand you. I have had to let a girl I loved go because she could not understand my decision of waiting. ‘

 

I remembered the last time I read the Wait by Devon Franklin and Meagan Good I read that Devon had been celibate since high school. And I remembered wondering whether those type of men exist.
And here it was. It was hard to believe that a man could have much success and still opt for celibacy.
He said he prays to marry In the next two years. Oh Lord… 😅

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